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For example, say “It’s difficult when this happens”. This could include saying something like “I can see you felt left out and jealous”.Īlso validate their emotions because this helps them feel accepted by you while learning to understand and manage their feelings. So, try and help them understand their feelings. Kids can be uncertain or confused by their emotions. Parents should be brave enough to say “I’m sorry I got angry and shouted at you. Parents need to show how they manage their own emotions - or make amends when they act in less-than-ideal ways. Be a good role model for your child when you don’t manage situations well Instead, pause before you react: take three deep breaths, have a cold drink of water, or step outside for a moment.ģ. An example might be: “It’s not OK to hit your brother” or “You can’t take lollies off the supermarket shelves without asking me first.”Īnger is contagious, so try not to lose your temper in front of your kids. Give clear and consistent limits about what you expectĬhildren need to know how you want them to behave and for this to be clear. Here are some approaches to consider with your child:ġ. So, what are the alternatives to smacking? They also improve a child’s well-being and mental health. These approaches lead to much better outcomes for parents and children, including more realistic expectations on the part of the parent and a better relationship between the parent and child.

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These are strategies that aim to help children understand what behaviours are expected, teach them to work through their feelings and learn how to repair a situation or solve a problem. The good news is there are evidence-based alternatives to smacking. Kids misbehave or may not be in control of their emotions, and parents need to provide guidance to their children about what is appropriate behaviour. Raising kids can be challenging at the best of times.

Parenting is stressfulīut this is not just about law reform. Parenting and family researchers have long been pushing for an end to corporal punishment in Australia as well. Already, 63 countries have banned corporal punishment for children, including New Zealand, Sweden, Denmark, South Korea, Wales, Scotland, France and Japan.

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Many countries are changing their laws because they understand the harms and because it is a violation of children’s right to live a life free from violence. This is despite the fact it is illegal in most Australian states and territories in other settings such as schools, or between adults – where it is classed as assault. What does the law say?Ĭurrently, the use of reasonable force for the purpose of discipline in the home remains lawful under criminal law provisions or common law principles made by courts. In adulthood, it is also linked to antisocial behaviour and being either a victim or perpetrator of intimate partner violence. A 2016 review of more than 70 international studies showed it was linked to reduced compliance with parents’ instructions over time, children having increased aggression and antisocial behaviour, mental health problems, and lower self-esteem. This fits with other research showing negative consequences if children are smacked or hit. This partly because those who had been smacked as a child may have also experienced other forms of mistreatment, such as harsh parental reactions, neglect or insufficient support.Įvidence shows children who are smacked are more likely to be involved in partner violence in adulthood The research also found those who were hit had almost double the risk of depression and anxiety. University of Melbourne provides funding as a founding partner of The Conversation AU.Īustralian Catholic University provides funding as a member of The Conversation AU. She is a Director of the Parent and Family Research Alliance. She has received funding for studies of Tuning in to Kids programs from government and philanthropic sources. As such, she may benefit from any positive reports of the outcomes of these programs. Sophie Havighurst is an author of the Tuning in to Kids suite of parenting programs. He is a Director of the Parenting and Family Research Alliance whose objective is advancing the science, policy and practice of evidence-based parenting support. He is a member of the Australian Psychological Society. Professor & Director, Institute of Child Protection Studies, Australian Catholic Universityĭaryl Higgins receives funding from the National Health and Medical Research Council, a range of Australian, state, and territory governments, and non-government agencies.

Daryl Higgins is a Friend of The Conversation.

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